DID YOU EVER WONDER?Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? How do you know when you're out of invisible ink? If your car could travel at the speed of light, would the headlights still work? If women do the same job for less money, why do companies hire men to do the same job for more money? If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? If your legs bent the other way, what would a chair look like? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? What disease did cured ham actually have? Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear? Why do they call them "Free Gifts"? Aren't all gifts free? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Where do forest rangers go to "Get away from it all"? Whatever happened to Preparation A through G? If a cow laughed hard, would milk come out of her nose? Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? If we're here to help other people, what are the other people here for? Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? Why do we say "Something is out of whack". What is a whack? Why do "Tug" boats "Push their barges? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? Have you ever seen a toad sitting on a toadstool? How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? Why don't women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? What color is a chameleon on a mirror? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are? Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing? Why are they called "apartments" when they're stuck together? Why there isn't a shorter word for monosyllabic? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same? What's the difference between flammable and inflammable? Why do croutons come in airtight packages when its just stale bread to begin with ? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? If people from Poland are called "poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? Was it a cruel joke to put an "s" in the word "lisp"? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Why can't women remember to leave the lid up? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? If infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit? Why do you park on driveways and drive on parkways? What's the difference between null and void? Why do hysterectomies happen to her and hernias happen to him? Why do they call them buildings? Shouldn't they be called builts? What's another word for thesaurus? What's another word for synonym? What did they go back to before they invented drawing boards? Is it possible to have a civil war? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why aren't hemorrhoids called asteroids? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is this a hostage situation? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why the alphabet is in that order? What do batteries run on? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? What keeps electricity in the wall? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to talk? Why is the word "abbreviation" so long? What do you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? Is it possible to be totally partial? When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? What is the speed of dark? Who was the first person to eat an oyster? How come you never hear about gruntled employees? What was the best thing before sliced bread? |
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